Filipino Taco Stand Owner

Rated E with L for some coarse language

I'm not much for video games, at least the ones where you have to shoot at others. My reflexes aren't good enough for that. I really can't handle that stupid camera thingy, where if you push up, the camera goes down. Who the fuck programs something like that?

But I do love racing games, like Gran Turismo or Need For Speed. The first game I ever had was Ford Racing for the original XBOX, so I've always liked them. I didn't get a PS2 until 2005, so figure that. I digress.

It was Sunday morning, and I was staying up to make a credit card payment. I had just bought a Mustang in the game and I was crashing into everything while being chased by the cops. My cousin and I were joking about it, "Look what happened to my car, officer! I was just driving along, and this T-Mobile store just popped up out of nowhere! Look at my windshield... and my hood!"

Then I began something and it got to the title.

"When I was in high school, I worked at this taco stand that was owned by some Filipino man.

I liked the job, but this guy would never fucking wash his hands. Seriously. And I would know when he wouldn't.

In the bathroom, there was this thick orange-colored hand soap, and so he would just walk out and his hands would be all orange and sticky, and shit.

So one day, I was just like him. I had to go to the bathroom, and I didn't wash my hands.

And guess what happened?

I gave ten people diarrhea."

And my youngest brother walks in from the kitchen. And I swear to God, he says, "Eddie, is that true?"

I died laughing. I laughed my fucking ass off and almost began to yell if it hadn't been 3 A.M. and all. This guy... I swear.