How to be a Dick Neighbor!

You know, last night, when I put our recycling and trash on the curb, there was enough room for the bins and trash to be spaced nicely. Well, it seems that our neighbor got sick of it and took charge, dick style!

They built a makeshift chainlink face across the curb, so that our recycling bins and trash  could no longer intrude onto their property. (By the way, trash pickup happens twice a week; recycling on Saturday.)

It seems that between midnight and 8 AM, they hastily dug a shallow hole in for the fence post. And to boot, they threw all the extra dirt that didn't fit onto top of the post hole into the gutter. MEH!

And now... I know that being neighborly is no longer something happening in the 21st century... it's either you or the neighbor. And this time... courtesy paid the price for that.

When I get my camera... I'll be sure to add a photograph before the City Code Inspectors come by and take it down.


Photographs as promised! (8/3/11)

The hastily built section of the fence.

How the new section merges with the old section.

The extra dirt (swept to their side of the property line).

Shit My Cock Says - Part Deux

The second entry of a new addition here on the ESF blog, Shit My Cock Says, Part DEUX! Yes, here it is... finally.

You Hate the Gays?

This morning, I was on the computer and my brother came into the kitchen. As he made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I told him, "I love you!" He responded with a classic, "I hate you, fag." I laughed it off (as I usually do) and went back to my YouTube videos.

But then, something came to mind. "Bro," I asked, "would you hate me if I was gay?" 

He said frankly, "Yeah, 'cause it's fucking disgusting!"

 This horror swept over my face, and I began to explain that you shouldn't hate someone because of who they happen to like. I then gave him an example. 

I told him:

"You know, hating gays is if someone came around saying they hated Hispanics*. If they came along and said 'OH I HATE MEXICANS. I WISH THEY'D ALL DIE!' how would you feel then?"

I complemented that with, "And as you grow up, you're gonna meet people who are like that. And you just can't grow up thinking like that."

He had this blank expression on his face, and as I followed him in to the living room to put up the curtain, I began again, "You should never hate someone because it's bad. If you are gonna hate someone, do it because they ran your dog over, or if they ran you over. Then you can hate someone."

I left him then in the living room, watching Spongebob Squarepants, eating his PB&J sandwich.

I'd just like to state that my brother is not a homophobe. 

But his thinking is somewhat along the lines of cultural thinking with Hispanics.

Rated "UR" for the personal angle and the social issue it confronts.

Bye, Aunt!

Since the late Nineties, my aunt had lived with me and my family here in the Dallas area. Well, after some ten-odd years, she left this morning to be with her fianceé whom she met a year ago in Chicago. 

I'm saddened that she's leaving, mainly because she's always been the outside force that us kids could go to when our parents weren't around or that happened to be the authority who ruled fairly. She had always been there... and now, she is leaving... although not for long. 

She'll return in September with her fianceé (although at this rate, they'll be married by the civic authority in Chicago in early August). 

My brothers and I will be alright, and we'll adjust, but I do feel bad for one person-- not my mom or us-- but for my nephew. He's accustomed to see her every morning and now... he'll arrive every morning... to my face (at this point, he runs away from me when I try to comfort him that little mofo) and will miss her terribly. 

But she is an adult... and life changes... and just as we've learned watching television shows... these kinds of changes are never easy. 

They're exceptionally hard for some; easy for others.

I'm choking up a bit while writing this and wiping away tears... but I'm genuinely happy for her. :) 

Hope she has a good time.

- Eddie

Takin' out ze trash!

About twenty minutes ago (6:25 AM CDT), I was happily taking down the trash for its Wednesday pickup. Half-way to the curb, I was like "Meh, I'll just drag it down there." And I went on merry way... dragging this 25-pound trash bag 20 feet.

I made it to the curb when I turn around and saw this trail of trash extending from the curb all the way to the gate. "OH GOD DAMN IT" I yelled in despair.

So I sadly walked to the back house and grabbed a shovel, knocked on the front door, and asked for a garbage bag. My brother came out to help me, at which point I started shoveling the trash and remarked, "I swear this smells like Domino's."

Of course, it did smell like Domino's and as I was shoveling, I began to sing a tune.

It's too sexy for landfill

Too sexy for landfill

too sexy

ah ha! 

That of course, annoyed the shit out of my brother. He threatened to leave me, but I continued to sing. And then my cousin (who's staying the week) joined us outside. I remarked how it smelled like Domino's pizza (pepperoni specifically) and he backed away, claiming it smelled like melón (or cantaloupe for you crackers out there). 

He left back inside and that left me and my brother again. I started singing "too sexy for landfill" and he left me immediately thereafter.  

There was nothing more to do but shovel it by myself, and I started to sing again:

Bad trash, bad trash

Whatcha gonna do? 

Whatcha gonna do when I come for you? 

And as the minutes passed, I added more:

Because you ripped yo' bag

and are scattered all over the place

Well don't worry 'cause we'll pick you up

and dump you right back 

into yo' place! 

I sang this until I finished... and at this point... I just saw I have stains on my shirt from the trash.

NO WONDER IT SMELLED LIKE DOMINO'S IN HERE! 

I'm going to take a shower to wash off the dirt. Soapy... RAWR.

XOXO

Gossip Guy

"Like dis, bitch."

Got home from summer camp, and now, I have this. Enjoy.

Rated UR because it's a photographic entry.