The Irish Nail

 Rated 14+ with MC-S for photographs with tasteful nudity and sexual innuendo

For Lenna. Whether you're ready or not, she's coming for you... even if you live in Britain.
Sorry for the ending, but it was either that or full-blown "rattling-around" sex.

It gets lonely on tours. It gets even lonelier when you're an abstinent Catholic (*cough* *cough*). And in America, they girls come flying at you: Black, White, Hispanic, Native American, you name it! 

And when you find that one special girl in the crowd, her blonde hair sticking to her head because of the heat and her eyes illuminated by the thousands of flashes, you know you got the one.

And soon, you get to know her... and pose nude for her up at a place that coincidentally has studio lighting. And then comes when everyone finds out where you are and you're forced to delay or abandon your plans. 

And then that one guy gets naked. And you tell your guy: "You're sexy; get naked too!"

Taking it off for your camera...

And he replies, "No, I can't do it. Not here." And you say to him, as a threat, "Look here motherfucker, you are gonna get naked whether you like it or not." Breathing heavily with anger, you continue, "You and I did not travel all this way just to see your fucking nipples. Now take off your fucking pants or get the fuck out."

Tasteful...!

After hearing you rant, he slaps you. And runs off. You run after, down the darkened hall towards the loading dock and find him crying, singing "Danny Boy," you console him. 

You apologize and take him back inside, where that one guy is completely naked. You're new friend, having been compelled takes it off. "I'm going to make the John Paul II spin in his grave!" he screams while taking off the pants. Now he's having fun. 

And now, you have tasteful nude photographs of him... and one of them is the full monty.

That's how much they're having now... without you.

But things got a little too much fun.
And now... you know what he did... that no one else knows he did.

Not straight enough, I guess.

Well, you... and you're 57 Twitter followers.

I had wanted to base this entry on the last one, but after being unable to find any photographs, seeing how inputting " 'Red-headed guy' 'Blonde girl' 'sex' " only got me photographs of Harry Potter actor Rupert Grint, and the fact that the guy is a blonde, not a red-head, my whole idea went down the toilet. Glad I was able to come up with something regardless.