Takin' out ze trash!

About twenty minutes ago (6:25 AM CDT), I was happily taking down the trash for its Wednesday pickup. Half-way to the curb, I was like "Meh, I'll just drag it down there." And I went on merry way... dragging this 25-pound trash bag 20 feet.

I made it to the curb when I turn around and saw this trail of trash extending from the curb all the way to the gate. "OH GOD DAMN IT" I yelled in despair.

So I sadly walked to the back house and grabbed a shovel, knocked on the front door, and asked for a garbage bag. My brother came out to help me, at which point I started shoveling the trash and remarked, "I swear this smells like Domino's."

Of course, it did smell like Domino's and as I was shoveling, I began to sing a tune.

It's too sexy for landfill

Too sexy for landfill

too sexy

ah ha! 

That of course, annoyed the shit out of my brother. He threatened to leave me, but I continued to sing. And then my cousin (who's staying the week) joined us outside. I remarked how it smelled like Domino's pizza (pepperoni specifically) and he backed away, claiming it smelled like melón (or cantaloupe for you crackers out there). 

He left back inside and that left me and my brother again. I started singing "too sexy for landfill" and he left me immediately thereafter.  

There was nothing more to do but shovel it by myself, and I started to sing again:

Bad trash, bad trash

Whatcha gonna do? 

Whatcha gonna do when I come for you? 

And as the minutes passed, I added more:

Because you ripped yo' bag

and are scattered all over the place

Well don't worry 'cause we'll pick you up

and dump you right back 

into yo' place! 

I sang this until I finished... and at this point... I just saw I have stains on my shirt from the trash.

NO WONDER IT SMELLED LIKE DOMINO'S IN HERE! 

I'm going to take a shower to wash off the dirt. Soapy... RAWR.

XOXO

Gossip Guy