Rated 16+ for images of graphic sexual content, use of coarse language, and other things that some might find objectionable
It's no secret that I have a Netflix account. That's how I watched my first Jackass movie at home. No DVDs for me! Except for Blu-Rays, because we bought a whole player dedicated to it. Anywho, every two weeks or so, I add a bunch of stuff onto my instant queue and then watch the longest of movies or programmes Friday/Saturday evenings. I'll provide the popcorn, just bring the drinks.
For Friday night, I watched what I glanced at once in 2011. I was doing my U.S. History vocabulary and I downloaded the movie Brüno. Yes, Brüno. The only part I glanced at was when he takes his little Filipino boyfriend Diesel and has rough gay sex with him. He does him with a sex machine (an exercise bike fitted with a long pole and a dildo at the end of it), twirls him like a top on his penis, and then has the boyfriend, using an office chair and bungee cord, sling himself onto Brüno.
I immediately closed Windows Media Player, Facebook'd about it, and continued on with my vocabulary.
Fast-forward to Friday, Nov. 2nd. I was looking at my instant queue and as I scrolled to the bottom, there it was again. I took a chance on it, and decided I'd watch it again. Not watch it again, but all the way through. So it started off.
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| "In: autism. Out: chlamydia." |
The opening credits came on. I think there was a shot of a penis during the opening credits.
We see Brüno introducing himself... Christ. When he asked what was "in" and what was "out," I swear to God he said "Autism is in..." and I forgot what was out.
Then he crashes a fashion show after getting stuck to a curtain and a clothes rack because of his velcro suit. Then he's out. He tries to get into fashion shows and he can't. Then his boyfriend leaves him. So he leaves to the United States with the help of an assistant whose name he can't remember. He goes to agent, and after failing as an extra on the NBC show Medium, he tries making his own show.
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| Sitting on 'Mexican chair-people' |
He interviews Paula Abdul on "Mexican chair people" (has a landscaping crew act as furniture), but she leaves when a naked large man with sushi on is carted into the room. After making the "show", it's shown to a focus group. The "show" ends with Harrison Ford yelling "Fuck off" to Brüno and then to a scene of nothing but his penis gyrating and the urethral opening becoming a mouth and screaming "Brüno!"
Hearing a group member say "It's worse than cancer," he sees at the bottom of a survey that say, "The only way this guy is going to be famous is with a sex tape." He takes the suggestion literally, and interviews Senator Ron Paul. After taking him into a backroom and taking off his pants, Paul rushes out of the room, and tells his people in the hall that the guy is "Queer as blazes."
After failing on his sex tape, he goes to psychic to talk to the Milli half of the pop-duo group Milli Vanilli. He ends up doing oral sex on the ghost. Moving on to a public relations company, he talks with two air-headed women about choosing a charity, ultimately choosing the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as his "thing." He talks to two sets of people, each from either Israel or Palestine. With the second group, he has them hold hands while he sings "Dove of Peace," a song he wrote.
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| Air oral sex with Milli. |
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| Peace in the Middle East |
Brüno then goes to talk with someone from the Al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigades; after telling the man that they should shave because their "King Osama looks like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa Claus", he is told to leave. Returning to the U.S. with a black child from Nigeria, he's brought on to a talk show with a Black audience. After Brüno tells the audience that he swapped the baby for a Product Red U2 iPod, and showing them photographs of the baby (clearly Photoshopped) in a hot tub full of naked men, the baby is taken away by social services.
Depressed, he goes to a restaurant and begins to gorge on junk food. Found by his assistant Lutz, he carries Brüno to a hotel where the two get trapped in a bondage trap. Unable to find the key, they call someone from maintenance and having the hotel manager walk in the room, the two are escorted out. After boarding a bus nude, still in the bondage gear, they're arrested. Once released, his assistant Lutz tells him he loves him, only to be rebuffed by Brüno.
After realizing that all the big stars in Hollywood are straight, he tries to become straight with the help of conversion techniques in Alabama. He tries to do "straight things," like joining the National Guard, going camping and hunting, and going to a swingers party, where he's whipped by a nipple-pierced woman until he jumps out a window.
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| Whipped by naked pierced lady |
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| Awkwardly hanging around a foursome |
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| The National Guard... |
Later, he's "Straight Dave" at a cage match held somewhere in Arkansas. He reiterates how straight he is, only to be called a faggot by someone in the crowd. When he confronts the person, it turns out to be Lutz. He enters the ring and they begin to fight, only to realize how much they love each other, and begin to undress in front of the spectators. The spectators throw objects into the ring, including beer, bottles, and even a chair.
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| Who said that? |
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| I did. |
The movie ends with several well-known artists singing his "Dove of Peace" song, with Elton John sitting on a Mexican chair-person.
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| Damn Elton John |
You know, I actually enjoyed the movie. Except for the penis gyration during the focus group scene. That freaked me out. And the scenes at the swingers party was weird because he was just standing around as four people were like eating out this lady on the floor. He's all awkward and asks "Does anyone want sandwiches?" Just like me.
But the funniest was surely at the end, in the Arkansas cage match fight. All those people just horrified at what they were seeing... two men covered in beer kissing where just five minutes ago, two guys were beating the living hell of out each other. That's what I call America.
Overall, it was a funny movie exploiting the intolerance of some by pushing a stereotypical portrayal of a homosexual man. I give it four stars... even if there's full frontal male nudity... and even if it happens to be of Sacha Baron Cohen himself.
And if you've made it to the end of this post, and are shocked by the stills, I told you at the beginning. That's why this thing has three FUCKING sub-ratings!
Coming Soon... intro
Never has an Austrian
had such an effect on me....
but then again...
Coming Sunday evening to the ESF.
